Thursday, December 29, 2005

On the Lighter Side

As we celebrate the New Year, and begin to look forward to all good things to come in our community for 2006, I would like share an essay that I wrote in 1997. This essay was written as my first-hand look at "insider politics" in Hernando County. At first glance this essay appears to be rather ominous but is actually rather amusing since it did not intimidate me from the political arena. Happy New Year to each of you, and please, sit back, and enjoy reading my 1997 essay titled, "The Grand Old Party?"


Edging my way past the many rows of brown, steel, folding chairs, sensing an air of hostility in the crowd, I chose a seat next to the wall. Upon sitting down, I became acutely aware of my bleak surroundings.

Political propaganda and posters adorned the rough, dingy, white walls. Portraits of Ronald Reagan, George. H. Bush and Dan Quail smiled down on the crowd from the wall on the right, while local and state representative's photographs were hung on the left. The blood red drapes, with blue and silver stars, hanging in the front plate glass window did little to brighten the room, as the stark fluorescent lights glared down on the matted, dirty, gold shag carpet. An overwhelming scent of Aqua Velva directed my focus to the occupants in the room.

Muffled whispers were coming from small groups of people throughout the room, making me quite aware I was an outsider in their world. As the chairman, outfitted in a white smock resembling a dentist, called the meeting to order, I noticed the secretary sitting at the desk. She was tapping her dark red fingernails on the desk, flitting her streaked , blond hair, trying to call attention to herself. This woman gave me the impression of a middle-aged cheerleader because of the youth-oriented clothing she was wearing.

After the chairman had babbled on with the old minutes, he introduced a woman heading the steering committee in charge of filling vacancies, named Edith. As she stood up to speak, hanging from her ears were over-sized earrings, making her close cropped haircut seem more extreme and cold. She continually adjusted her large plastic glasses, which slid down her nose, as she spoke about the difficulty of interviewing new applicants. A very vocal woman seated behind me became outraged at Edith's lack of professionalism, objecting to the statements involving new members. This woman identified herself as Lois for the record, was dressed in a bright pink jogging suit and sneakers but she somehow seemed to fit into this obscure crowd. Lois stormed out of the building screaming at Edith that newcomers were not allowed at this meeting.

At this point I became very perturbed with the entire meeting, wondering how I ever agreed to become a precinct committeewoman on the republican executive committee. How dare these people sit in judgment of me when they could not conduct themselves in a civilized manner.

The vice-chairman stood up while his deep, resonating voice calling for order in the room. His presence seemed a little less intimidating because of the rumpled old oxford shirt he was wearing clashed with his trousers, making him seem somewhat comical. The chairman abruptly slammed the gavel down to adjourn the meeting while sighs of relief could be heard in the audience.

After witnessing this despicable display of petty, obnoxious individuals in the republicans executive committee tonight, my opinion of politics is even more tainted. Having this first-hand glimpse of the inside makes me wonder why the Grand Old Party has not yet imploded.

*The names in this essay are fictitious.

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